Saving Grace

When living your life, you are bound to run across troubles. Sometimes the reason why is obvious -- you made a mistake, someone else has bad character, or just bad luck. Other times, you ask why thousands of times over but the answer never comes. Why am I so bad at school? Why do I have bad luck? Why are people always fighting with me? At some point, the problem itself stops being such a big deal. Instead, the real problem becomes the fact you don't know the how to solve the problem. If you found the answer, you would fix it right away. Wouldn't you?

But the answer is not always so easy to swallow. Like bitter herbs, you just can't even stand the thought of eating them, but you know it's good for you. In some cases, your very life depends on eating the answer until the plate is completely clean.

What I am talking about, is rebuke. It's very bitter sometimes, but it's eternally valuable. However, people tend to really dislike rebuke to the point they'll do anything just so they won't hear it. Not venturing into the kitchen so that the big pile of dishes glare at you and with harsh rebuke say, "Clean. Me." Never praying so that you won't have to face your conscience screaming out to you, "Please! Clean me!" Everyone has their tried-and-true method. I have my own too.

Just this morning I got up to pray and afterwards I decided a short nap was in order because I thought, "Hey, there's nothing I really have to be doing right now." So I took my nap and later I read some mentoring advice that this Pastor wrote. He writes some every day in the form of short proverbs as he realizes them in the course of his own life. It said, "Depending on whether you sleep at predawn once more or once less, the fate of the predawn hours is determined, and even the fate of your life is destined." 

It struck me right in the heart. It was a bitter cup, but I drank it wholeheartedly with a short "amen" that I whispered under my breath. The advice turned out to be true. Because I took a nap I actually did not get to finish everything I wanted to today. I realized that my youth, like this day, would just slip by me unnoticed if I lived with that kind of mentality and made the adjustment. It was the answer to my problem of  'having enough time.'

When I thought about the Bible I realized that it seems that people that cannot take rebuke pay with their life. King Saul, King Ahab, Judas Iscariot, and even Cain. If they simply took what was good for them -- like eating bitter food -- they would have turned out just fine. But since they chose to bear the pain of ignorance instead of putting in the effort to have the proper mentality, they ultimately paid the price.

Nowadays, rebuke can be as rare as seeing Halley's Comet. Generally if a person rebukes someone, even if it's done properly, it's common to just recite the verse in the New Testament saying that one should 'take the log out of your own eye' first. The verse says that, but it does not say to refrain from rebuking other people. It says to repent first so a person can rebuke properly. If a person fails to remove the log, the rebuke has no power or they might end up rebuking out of ignorance.

I'm not saying that people need to go around looking for opportunities to rebuke. I'm saying that there are times that it's necessary and extremely helpful if done properly. It has to be done with love. It has to be done in a way that people can save face. Then people will realize what they've done wrong and fix it. For example, if a person rebukes someone who knows better and knows they've done wrong, they just get embarrassed. Or if a person rebukes someone who is very young in faith, they just feel bad rather than want to fix themselves. Therefore, it has to be done with wisdom. When it's done properly, it becomes truly 'saving grace.'

Let's Make a Promise

After hearing the Wednesday message last week, I was so excited. One might even say I was giddy. I was giddy like a child who just won a $500 shopping spree to nearest toy store. I was so excited to receive revelation that I even prayed before I slept, "Why wait until tomorrow? I'm ready to receive revelation now!" I went to bed without any inspiration, but I was no less determined to receive it.

I woke up the next morning at my normal time and prayed  earnestly for a little over an hour still hoping to receive revelation, but I got nothing. Before I finished praying I said, "I haven't lost hope because you promised. I'll live today with joy waiting for that one word you might have to say to me." So I went through my day earnestly pleading to God, trying to tug on his heart strings. My goal was to look a lot like a puppy begging for food. You just can't resist that.

I watched the day go by looking for anything. I stared at the sky. I listened to people talk. I just sat and prayed. I went out to evangelize. I read the Bible. I read the Wednesday message again. Nothing hit me. It was like I had gone deaf or something. It was getting late and I was about to start praying before I went to bed and I thought to myself, "God. You promised." Then the inspiration came: "Don't break your promises."

It hit me like lightning and my heart was moved so I prayed an earnest prayer. "God you are always faithful to your promises. That's why I always get so much joy from what you say, receive grace, and live my life with hope. If you only followed through as earnestly as I did I don't think I would ever believe what you say. I really did not know that you wait for human beings to fulfill their promises with such earnestness like that." Remembering all the promises I made, I made up my mind to absolutely fulfill them.

If I could have I would have pinky-swore with God right there. Regardless, I felt God was relieved to hear what I had to say. I continued to pray about promises over the next few days and I realized how many times God must have heard promises from people that never got fulfilled. I thought, "Promises are not just things you say with your lips, but things you purpose in your heart. I'm sure everyone wants to follow God with all their heart if they really believe in Him, but how many actually do that?" Then the verse came to mind:

John 14:15  “If you love me, keep my commands."

What was at first guilt had at this point turned into love. God gives so many commands in the Bible and it might seem like he's so authoritarian and oppressive, but even when I received inspiration like this that initially sounds somewhat angry, it's an anger expressed out of love. If I never kept my promises, then I would never realize how valuable it is that God promises things and absolutely follows through with it. Thus I would never really know just how much he loved me. It would just remain a vague idea in my head rather than a palpable feeling in my heart. So I realized that God when God gives a command, it's not for the sake of controlling you. It's actually a promise to give you blessings if you fulfill your promise to follow it. So I prayed to God, "Let's make a promise."

Tying the Knot

Today is a big day for me. This morning I finally, successfully got a gamification system working on our bible study interactive website, www.BibleStudyInteractive.com. It's something I've been trying to figure out for 2 years now. And tomorrow we have our first meeting with the online lecturers to begin American Providence's first round of online bible studies.

After many hours on the computer I went for a walk to take in the beautiful weather. I ventured off to a part of the neighborhood I've never been to more than 4 times in my whole life. There I found a broken swing. The rope was tied really well on one end of the plank, but the other end wasn't tied properly so no one could sit on the plank and swing.

I untied and unraveled the second rope. I undid all the knots and kinks. Then I experimented with some different knots and got it working. I didn't think I would be able to figure out the last part just before the end. The knot was working, but the plank wasn't sitting evenly and it was too late to undo the first knot. But then I stumbled upon an easy fix for the last knot.

The swing now works perfectly. The tree isn't very tall, and the swing is a little high above the ground, but it works securely.

On the way home I thought about it. I asked the Lord to help me realize something deep through the swing. I began to think about what is the role of a person sent by God? Thinking about the broken swing I realized that the original plan for the swing was good, all the materials are perfect, but because that one important part had become unraveled and couldn't be done properly, the swing was not able to fulfill even 1% of it's purpose. I came by and fixed it, and probably no one will know who fixed it. But they'll be thankful. And who knows, maybe later on, after swinging, someone will be inspired to make an even better swing.

Like this, humanity is too often unable to fulfill God's original purpose. The materials are all there. The original purpose and design isn't flawed. But there is just that one thing that needs to be fixed. In this way the person sent by the Lord visits, fixes that one essential part in secret, and all of humanity is able to function as long as they follow that new path of God's history.

Then I watched the movie, "We bought a zoo." The zookeepers worked so hard and sacrificed so much to prepare the zoo on opening day. All their hopes rested on whether people would come or not on opening day.

Seeing this I thought about American Providence. So I asked the Lord, "Lord, will they come [the large crowds of people]?"

I felt the Lord smiling down on me, "Are you kidding? Of course they will. Didn't you believe when your were told they would?"

The Lord's kindness was so hopeful, but then I asked very sincerely, "But Lord, why haven't they come already?"

*special note - "tying the knot," has double meaning. It refers to the broken swing, and it is also a colloquial way to saying to get married

"They did actually. They came, but they left. It was because no one knew how to tie the knot [properly]."

God's History

I was inspired this week to write about what seems to be a common misconception about people who believe in God and live a life of faith. It's a misconception I myself once held until someone helped me realize how ridiculous it really is. It's so ridiculous that anyone who has ever read the Bible should give themselves a face palm if they continue to think this way. From Genesis to Revelation this kind of thinking is directly contradicted. Are you ready to hear it?

I hope you've got your face palm prepared.

People who believe in God should always be happy. Right? What I mean specifically is that people who believe in God should always be smiling. Let's check the Bible. Abel was killed by his brother, Abraham had to leave his parents and country, Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, Moses was opposed directly by the Israelites, the people he was saving, and never entered Canaan, King David had to run for many years from a man set on killing him even though he had been appointed king by God, Prophet Elijah was exiled in his own country, Jesus was persecuted and crucified, the Apostles met the same fate.

Going further, the followers of Jesus had to have services in the catacombs, were burned at the stake, and fed to lions. During the Protestant reformation believers in God were persecuted and killed when they opposed the long-standing power of the church. Even now persecution is still seen in certain parts of the world today. If these people are really the examples of the kind of life we should live, it's difficult to say that believers in God never go through difficulty and suffering just like everyone else. 

After all, even Jesus, wept.

(You can face palm now if you need to do so).

When I realized this I thought, "then what is so good about believing in God if I go through even more suffering than everyone else?" Isn't it so good because all suffering has an end? Even if you suffer, it will eventually come to and end, like it did for Joseph. Even if you suffer, you will end up closer to God, like Job.  Even if you suffer, you will learn a deep lesson, like King David. Even if you suffer, you can save lives, like Jesus. So even though a situation becomes too difficult to bear and tears flow like a river, you can bear it because it has an end. In this way, there will be many times you will not be able to smile that genuine bright smile. As Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, "[there is] a time to weep and a time to laugh."

I often try to remember that there is no being that has suffered more than God. For 6000 years he has been watching the people like Abel who believed in Him and served him be killed by those like Cain. And yet he still shows those like Cain mercy because he loves even them. Therefore, it's no surprise to me that when things get difficult, I still feel closer to God. So even though I suffer, there is still joy through hope.

My head Pastor is someone who has gone through immense suffering as he lived his life believing in and serving God. Persecution is something that for him, started even within his own family. But in the midst of one of his greatest sufferings he wrote this song that I so very much enjoy singing. It goes like this:

Many people talk about me, they say he's a man of misery.
Not at all. I am man of Happiness.
However long I think of myself, Still I feel --
"Oh, I am a happy man!"
"Happyness is Happyness, only when it lasts eternally..."

When I sing this song, I remember that a life of faith isn't all smiles and giggles like some people want it to be and others believe it to be. It's a life of sincerity. It's a life of overcoming hardships because you know that there is hope for you in the end. It's a life of deep meaning and purpose in everything you do. It's a truly happy life.

The perfect solution

Repentance. Just hearing the word makes you have a sour face. There's that moment when you realize you know you've done something really stupid this time. There's that feeling of being trapped by the prospect of getting the classic I'm-Right-You're-Wrong look and suppressing that tremendous feeling of guilt. Then the battle rages on in your head with elaborate justifications flying through the air of your thoughts. "If they just understood my perspective..." "They should have just let me know..." It makes you think things might be better if we were all 4 years old.

Oops, that's the second sand castle today. I'll just say "Sorry." They'll love it.

When it comes to a life of faith, a walk with God, a relationship with the Almighty, or whatever you want to call it, repentance is probably considered the least fun out of all the things you might end up doing. I mean, there's praising, there's seeing miracles, there's meeting new people, there's giving glory through sports, and in the end there's going to Heaven. Maybe if repentance was more like playing sports people would make a two hour time slot every day just to repent with all their friends.

Hey! Don't hog the deep sense of guilt!

But the hard truth is that repentance, sincere repentance, is difficult. It sometimes takes time to see things from God's point of view. It sometimes takes effort to change your behavior. It sometimes even takes tears to receive a deep conviction. And sometimes, it takes you to the most uncomfortable places on earth. I'm sure many people have said these words or felt it in their heart: "I would rather go jump off a bridge than apologize to this person..."

But even if it's hard, it's still one of my favorite types of prayers. Why? Because repentance comes from the heart that says, "God, I want to be closer to you." "I know that I'm like this, but I want to be like that because you deserve better." "I know I did that and it hurt your heart, but I sincerely want to give you joy. Please, help me be a better person."

The reason I pray this way is because my head Pastor taught me in a way that I had never really heard before about repentance. I was always taught that either you repent once and that's it. Or, that repentance is something you do when you really, really can't help but do it. But when I started seeing repentance as a gift from God, it became something I really liked to do.

Think about this. You try to do something with all your might, but you fail. But because you have a strong mentality you get back up again with all your might -- only to fail again. Repeat that a thousand times and you might be left hopeless, ashamed, and a bit tired. It's possible that you might spend your entire lifetime on this one thing and never succeed.

This puzzle is easy. Try solving life.

Life is like that. You want to live it perfectly, but if you try to live it on your own you'll always get stuck on some problem. That's the limit of human intelligence. But if you listen to God's words and live trying to make His words your mentality by repenting, then even if problems come up, you can tackle them boldly because you know that you will eventually find the solution because God will help you.

Thanksgiving comes early

I apologize for the tremendously overdue post. I have been away for quite some time as I was attending a retreat in South Korea. I received so much grace and inspiration that I can't help but want to share. As I prayed about this post, I could only be thankful for everything that I had received and was inspired to share a thanksgiving prayer. Don't worry, I'll give you the shortened version so that you don't end up reading forever.

I get it, you're thankful.

God,
I am so thankful for all that you do for me. When I think about my life, I cannot help but see your love and be thankful endlessly.

When I wanted to go to Korea I did not have the money and I had no choice but to spend an entire summer of precious time working. But when I prayed to you with an earnest and sincere heart for many months you heard my prayer. Thank you God for listening to the pleas of a mere human being.

Though for many months my prayer seemed to go unanswered and my parents denied me any help when I first presented the idea, you never forgot the prayers I offered you and after two months, you moved my father's heart to pay for my ticket. Thank you for helping me value the gifts that you give me. Your thoughts are truly higher than my own.

But even then, out of the tremendous love in your heart, did not stop blessing me at this one point. You kept me safe until I reached Korea and provided a guide for me when I arrived. Before I even went to sleep on the first day you gave me a complete meal that took hours to prepare by inspiring the heart of another believer to want to share with me, a foreigner. Thank you for making realize the kind of love that you have for me continuously.

Though I only know how to say "Thank you" in Korean, you gave me an interpreter so I would never be lost. And even the times I was without an interpreter you helped me to understand people through the movements in my heart. Thank you God for never leaving my side.

I thank you for letting me contribute to your Will on earth by working to make a beautiful place of worship in the hot summer heat. Even though sweat ran down my forehead like bullets from a Tommy gun, you fed me and gave me water at the times I was most thirsty through other workers and prevented me from getting heat stroke. And through working you helped me to realize the value of that place of worship and understand the heart with which you first sacrificed for me Thank you.

God, during the retreat messages and times of praise it rained so much and I was really cold, but when I look back at that time I realize that you worked through the rain to make the performances even more beautiful. The times when the praise was intense you rained intensely upon us. The times when the praise was somber you rained a drizzle on us. It was truly miraculous. When I saw the performers give praise to you despite the rain I realized that your mentality is like that too. Thank you for letting me realize about you. You are a great God, My God. Thank you.

You did so much for me that it would take an entire day to list out everything. And yet, because you are so incredibly humble, you do not tell me directly and instead let me realize about each thing in detail. Most human beings are indignant if they do something for someone and receive nothing in return. But you are different. Thank you for showing me what humility really means.

You were with me until the very day I left and returned home. When I tried to catch the bus when I got back to the US, you moved the bus drivers heart to stop so that I would make it home on time. He almost left because the time had come, but by your grace you saved me so much time and trouble. Thank you God.

As I give thanks to you God I cannot help but be moved by how much you do for me. I could pray for another hour but then I would not be able to testify about your love and your heart to endlessly give. So please, let's do it together.

I give thanks to the heavenly father who loves me with all His heart. Amen.

Thanksgiving prayer is perhaps one of the most character-changing prayers one can offer other than a prayer of repentance. Also, just like people really enjoy being thanked for what they do, when you thank God, he wants to give you even more. What is sad is that in this world, and especially America, we tend to find things to complain about rather easily.

Hey, why did you give me so much food and make me look like this?

But the great thing about thanksgiving is that you can do it endlessly, for free. And as much as you do it, you become happier. Free happiness? I don't really need fries with that. Many people dream of winning the lottery because they essentially get everything for free for the rest of their lives. But a better dream than that is to become an endlessly thankful person.

Writing your story with God

When I started to write this post, I really struggled to write the first sentence. I thought about it, wrote a sentence, then deleted the whole thing again. I went through about five ideas before the mental trash can of ideas had begun to overflow and fresh ideas stopped coming to mind. So I went to the Lord in prayer, "Lord, I am not trying to say something complicated. I just need a good first sentence, then everything will flow perfectly afterwards. Please, let's write it together." Then I realized I received the direction for this post.

Pre-dawn prayer

Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Don't be scared by the title of this section. It does not bite, and you're likely not allergic to it, so there's no need to worry. Let's just talk about this in a calm and orderly fashion before you close the browser window in pure shock. I promise you, it's going to be just fine.

If you stay, I will give you lots of candy.

If there is any one thing that my head Pastor taught me that has transformed me as a person as I walk my life of faith -- it's praying before the sun rises. I cannot go a single day without wanting to get up early in the morning, kneeling before God, and trying to connect with him. Yes, it can be difficult at first, but the rewards are worth much more than the handful of failures. When I offer a prayer in which I really connect with God, I find that connecting with Him the rest of the day becomes as easy as sending a text message to your best friend. And naturally, after having a day like that, I want to get up the next day only wanting more.

When I first tryed pre-dawn prayer I got up at 4:50 A.M. all groggy-eyed and rolled off my bed. Luckily I landed on my knees so at least I did not have to get into kneeling position. I folded my hands and closed my eyes and I just started speaking about various things and giving thanks to God for anything that really came to mind. When I could not think of anything else to be thankful for I ended with the classic "in your name I pray, amen" and ended my prayer. I looked at the clock and noticed ten minutes had passed so I went back to bed. 

No. Getting back into bed was not all that graceful either.

When I woke up later, I had actually woken up before my alarm went off. It was not the I-just-arose-from-slumber-after-1000-years kind of being awake either. I was freshly awake, so I turned off my alarm, got ready, and went to school. When I went to class that day I remember that my mind was more in tune with God in the sense that while I listened to the lecture, I realized things about the message that I heard recently, the Bible verses I read that morning, and about prayer in general. It was like He was next to me helping me understand the class material deeper through the word. 

Since trying it the first time, there have been failures of course. But failure only made me want to try even harder. When I tried like this every day, it not only deepened my faith, but my character had begun to change. I became more thankful, more lighthearted, more resilient to hardship, and less worried about my life.This, I realized, is one of the ways God blesses you. It is when you have the heart of putting in the effort to seek Him every day, that you find that he has blessed you in the process.

It's possible at this point you're still wondering, "But is it really necessary it be that early? Doesn't God hear you no matter what time of day?" It's true, God does not really take lunch breaks from hearing prayers. But in the case of prayer, the one that has to be prepared is you. When I pray during the day, my mind is full of the various things that I have to do that day, so even if I want to focus it will take some time. But, when I pray early like this, my mind is crystal clear and the environment is ideal for prayer. It really feels like you are alone with God.

Matthew 6:6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

There are actually several other reasons why pre-dawn prayer is so good based in both science and the Bible, but what's better than reasons that people give you are the reasons that you end up making for yourself. And that's what I realized during prayer. Praying in the pre-dawn is like writing the perfect first sentence that lays the foundation for a solid piece of writing. That piece of writing is the writing of every moment, the writing of every day, and the writing of your life. When you start everything by first praying to God, things will work out for you.

And, you'll have a great story to read later about you and God.

As for next post, I will continue to talk about prayer. But don't worry. I'll find a new way to talk about it so it will be fresh for everyone. Until then, enjoy praying!