The perfect solution

Repentance. Just hearing the word makes you have a sour face. There's that moment when you realize you know you've done something really stupid this time. There's that feeling of being trapped by the prospect of getting the classic I'm-Right-You're-Wrong look and suppressing that tremendous feeling of guilt. Then the battle rages on in your head with elaborate justifications flying through the air of your thoughts. "If they just understood my perspective..." "They should have just let me know..." It makes you think things might be better if we were all 4 years old.

Oops, that's the second sand castle today. I'll just say "Sorry." They'll love it.

When it comes to a life of faith, a walk with God, a relationship with the Almighty, or whatever you want to call it, repentance is probably considered the least fun out of all the things you might end up doing. I mean, there's praising, there's seeing miracles, there's meeting new people, there's giving glory through sports, and in the end there's going to Heaven. Maybe if repentance was more like playing sports people would make a two hour time slot every day just to repent with all their friends.

Hey! Don't hog the deep sense of guilt!

But the hard truth is that repentance, sincere repentance, is difficult. It sometimes takes time to see things from God's point of view. It sometimes takes effort to change your behavior. It sometimes even takes tears to receive a deep conviction. And sometimes, it takes you to the most uncomfortable places on earth. I'm sure many people have said these words or felt it in their heart: "I would rather go jump off a bridge than apologize to this person..."

But even if it's hard, it's still one of my favorite types of prayers. Why? Because repentance comes from the heart that says, "God, I want to be closer to you." "I know that I'm like this, but I want to be like that because you deserve better." "I know I did that and it hurt your heart, but I sincerely want to give you joy. Please, help me be a better person."

The reason I pray this way is because my head Pastor taught me in a way that I had never really heard before about repentance. I was always taught that either you repent once and that's it. Or, that repentance is something you do when you really, really can't help but do it. But when I started seeing repentance as a gift from God, it became something I really liked to do.

Think about this. You try to do something with all your might, but you fail. But because you have a strong mentality you get back up again with all your might -- only to fail again. Repeat that a thousand times and you might be left hopeless, ashamed, and a bit tired. It's possible that you might spend your entire lifetime on this one thing and never succeed.

This puzzle is easy. Try solving life.

Life is like that. You want to live it perfectly, but if you try to live it on your own you'll always get stuck on some problem. That's the limit of human intelligence. But if you listen to God's words and live trying to make His words your mentality by repenting, then even if problems come up, you can tackle them boldly because you know that you will eventually find the solution because God will help you.

Thanksgiving comes early

I apologize for the tremendously overdue post. I have been away for quite some time as I was attending a retreat in South Korea. I received so much grace and inspiration that I can't help but want to share. As I prayed about this post, I could only be thankful for everything that I had received and was inspired to share a thanksgiving prayer. Don't worry, I'll give you the shortened version so that you don't end up reading forever.

I get it, you're thankful.

God,
I am so thankful for all that you do for me. When I think about my life, I cannot help but see your love and be thankful endlessly.

When I wanted to go to Korea I did not have the money and I had no choice but to spend an entire summer of precious time working. But when I prayed to you with an earnest and sincere heart for many months you heard my prayer. Thank you God for listening to the pleas of a mere human being.

Though for many months my prayer seemed to go unanswered and my parents denied me any help when I first presented the idea, you never forgot the prayers I offered you and after two months, you moved my father's heart to pay for my ticket. Thank you for helping me value the gifts that you give me. Your thoughts are truly higher than my own.

But even then, out of the tremendous love in your heart, did not stop blessing me at this one point. You kept me safe until I reached Korea and provided a guide for me when I arrived. Before I even went to sleep on the first day you gave me a complete meal that took hours to prepare by inspiring the heart of another believer to want to share with me, a foreigner. Thank you for making realize the kind of love that you have for me continuously.

Though I only know how to say "Thank you" in Korean, you gave me an interpreter so I would never be lost. And even the times I was without an interpreter you helped me to understand people through the movements in my heart. Thank you God for never leaving my side.

I thank you for letting me contribute to your Will on earth by working to make a beautiful place of worship in the hot summer heat. Even though sweat ran down my forehead like bullets from a Tommy gun, you fed me and gave me water at the times I was most thirsty through other workers and prevented me from getting heat stroke. And through working you helped me to realize the value of that place of worship and understand the heart with which you first sacrificed for me Thank you.

God, during the retreat messages and times of praise it rained so much and I was really cold, but when I look back at that time I realize that you worked through the rain to make the performances even more beautiful. The times when the praise was intense you rained intensely upon us. The times when the praise was somber you rained a drizzle on us. It was truly miraculous. When I saw the performers give praise to you despite the rain I realized that your mentality is like that too. Thank you for letting me realize about you. You are a great God, My God. Thank you.

You did so much for me that it would take an entire day to list out everything. And yet, because you are so incredibly humble, you do not tell me directly and instead let me realize about each thing in detail. Most human beings are indignant if they do something for someone and receive nothing in return. But you are different. Thank you for showing me what humility really means.

You were with me until the very day I left and returned home. When I tried to catch the bus when I got back to the US, you moved the bus drivers heart to stop so that I would make it home on time. He almost left because the time had come, but by your grace you saved me so much time and trouble. Thank you God.

As I give thanks to you God I cannot help but be moved by how much you do for me. I could pray for another hour but then I would not be able to testify about your love and your heart to endlessly give. So please, let's do it together.

I give thanks to the heavenly father who loves me with all His heart. Amen.

Thanksgiving prayer is perhaps one of the most character-changing prayers one can offer other than a prayer of repentance. Also, just like people really enjoy being thanked for what they do, when you thank God, he wants to give you even more. What is sad is that in this world, and especially America, we tend to find things to complain about rather easily.

Hey, why did you give me so much food and make me look like this?

But the great thing about thanksgiving is that you can do it endlessly, for free. And as much as you do it, you become happier. Free happiness? I don't really need fries with that. Many people dream of winning the lottery because they essentially get everything for free for the rest of their lives. But a better dream than that is to become an endlessly thankful person.

Writing your story with God

When I started to write this post, I really struggled to write the first sentence. I thought about it, wrote a sentence, then deleted the whole thing again. I went through about five ideas before the mental trash can of ideas had begun to overflow and fresh ideas stopped coming to mind. So I went to the Lord in prayer, "Lord, I am not trying to say something complicated. I just need a good first sentence, then everything will flow perfectly afterwards. Please, let's write it together." Then I realized I received the direction for this post.

Pre-dawn prayer

Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Don't be scared by the title of this section. It does not bite, and you're likely not allergic to it, so there's no need to worry. Let's just talk about this in a calm and orderly fashion before you close the browser window in pure shock. I promise you, it's going to be just fine.

If you stay, I will give you lots of candy.

If there is any one thing that my head Pastor taught me that has transformed me as a person as I walk my life of faith -- it's praying before the sun rises. I cannot go a single day without wanting to get up early in the morning, kneeling before God, and trying to connect with him. Yes, it can be difficult at first, but the rewards are worth much more than the handful of failures. When I offer a prayer in which I really connect with God, I find that connecting with Him the rest of the day becomes as easy as sending a text message to your best friend. And naturally, after having a day like that, I want to get up the next day only wanting more.

When I first tryed pre-dawn prayer I got up at 4:50 A.M. all groggy-eyed and rolled off my bed. Luckily I landed on my knees so at least I did not have to get into kneeling position. I folded my hands and closed my eyes and I just started speaking about various things and giving thanks to God for anything that really came to mind. When I could not think of anything else to be thankful for I ended with the classic "in your name I pray, amen" and ended my prayer. I looked at the clock and noticed ten minutes had passed so I went back to bed. 

No. Getting back into bed was not all that graceful either.

When I woke up later, I had actually woken up before my alarm went off. It was not the I-just-arose-from-slumber-after-1000-years kind of being awake either. I was freshly awake, so I turned off my alarm, got ready, and went to school. When I went to class that day I remember that my mind was more in tune with God in the sense that while I listened to the lecture, I realized things about the message that I heard recently, the Bible verses I read that morning, and about prayer in general. It was like He was next to me helping me understand the class material deeper through the word. 

Since trying it the first time, there have been failures of course. But failure only made me want to try even harder. When I tried like this every day, it not only deepened my faith, but my character had begun to change. I became more thankful, more lighthearted, more resilient to hardship, and less worried about my life.This, I realized, is one of the ways God blesses you. It is when you have the heart of putting in the effort to seek Him every day, that you find that he has blessed you in the process.

It's possible at this point you're still wondering, "But is it really necessary it be that early? Doesn't God hear you no matter what time of day?" It's true, God does not really take lunch breaks from hearing prayers. But in the case of prayer, the one that has to be prepared is you. When I pray during the day, my mind is full of the various things that I have to do that day, so even if I want to focus it will take some time. But, when I pray early like this, my mind is crystal clear and the environment is ideal for prayer. It really feels like you are alone with God.

Matthew 6:6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

There are actually several other reasons why pre-dawn prayer is so good based in both science and the Bible, but what's better than reasons that people give you are the reasons that you end up making for yourself. And that's what I realized during prayer. Praying in the pre-dawn is like writing the perfect first sentence that lays the foundation for a solid piece of writing. That piece of writing is the writing of every moment, the writing of every day, and the writing of your life. When you start everything by first praying to God, things will work out for you.

And, you'll have a great story to read later about you and God.

As for next post, I will continue to talk about prayer. But don't worry. I'll find a new way to talk about it so it will be fresh for everyone. Until then, enjoy praying!

It all starts with prayer

I decided to begin this blog out of an inspiration I received in prayer. When I prayed this morning I asked Jesus to give me something new to do that would be fun, challenging, and a means for me to get closer to him. As I prayed I discussed with the Lord, "Lord, I have a lot of talents but they do not seem very useful to you unless I am going to be lecturing mathematics or making programs. What should I do to get closer to you then?" Then I received inspiration that I should try to write about something. At first I reacted in a kind of playful and curious way saying, "Really? I am terrible at writing though. Surely you can use other people to write since I am not all that great at it." As I continued to pray about it I realized it was truly a good idea. A verse came to mind:

Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.

So I agreed and decided I would start here on blogger since I am not really sure where else to start and I love Google so much. Only in a it's-everything-in-one-place-so-why-not kind of way though. Prayer is the same in a sense in that it is the go-to solution for more or less anything in my life. When I'm hungry -- I pray. When I'm tired -- I pray. When I'm bored -- I pray. It's really so useful that it even puts duct tape to shame.

Yeah, prayer is more useful than that.

But my prayer was not always like this. I started out praying 20 minutes a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. My prayer was very mechanical and sometimes kind of awkward. It was never as bad as "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yay God," but even thinking about how I used to pray still makes me giggle in embarrassment. Only after listening to my head Pastor and really trying to learn to pray given the advice he gave from the Bible was I ever able to pray in a way that I could not help but do it all the time. I'll just give you some of my favorite pieces of wisdom over a few blogs since they really are so deep.

Pray without ceasing

Putting the verse in the Bible here would be too ridiculous since it is literally the title of this section. Anyway, if there is one way to make prayer noneffective, it's to stop before it's finished. When you are running a race, do you stop just before the finish line?

I just ran 26 miles, I'm happy stopping here.

Prayer is the exact same way. If you pray while getting distracted by your cell phone constantly receiving text messages or you keep thinking about whether or not someone just commented on your post on Facebook every five minutes that is like stopping the race. Naturally, if you pray this way you'll have a really hard time receiving answers, solving problems, and connecting with God. Generally, I like to pray using a prayer mat in a quiet room with at least an hour of time to spare. When I pray like this, I have nothing to think about in the first place so all I can think about is reaching the goal.

This is not to say that I'm still without failure in this regard. I sometimes fail to pray with a focused mind so my prayer, which might have had good intentions, degenerates into basically sleep-talking. Let's just say that it's kind of embarrassing to tell God, "man I just want a pizza" in a half-awake state of mind. Or, I sometimes end up just falling asleep while kneeling only to wake up 30 minutes later with sore knees saying to myself, "Wow, that must have been a really focused prayer. Wait, what was I praying about?" Perfection takes continued practice, so failing is ok.

Also, for big things, you have to pray many times. You might have heard the adage, "Rome was not built in a day" before. They had to first conquer the entirety of the Italian peninsula, then unify all the tribes under one government, avoid a near-defeat by Hannibal, and then conquer the rest of the Mediterranean area. That took 700 years or so. When you ask God for something big, completely ridding yourself of a prideful nature, then you have to pray for it again and again until God gives it to you. More often then not, you'll actually notice once you receive it that God was gradually preparing you to receive it. If you give up, then all the prayer that you had done until that point will be useless.

You might be like me and think that it's difficult to keep doing something for an indefinite amount of time. To me, it can feel like chasing the light at the end of the tunnel and it just keeps getting farther and more faint. So instead of doing it for an indefinite amount of time, you can give yourself a set time to pray for it. For example, let's say you're looking for an answer for a specific direction in your life. You should pray until you receive the answer, but you can't wait 10 years. Instead, pray for 7 days, 21 days, or 40 days about the specific topic every day. That way, you're not just running on a treadmill. And, you might find that you receive the answer on the last day of your set time. You just have to look out for it.

Which brings me to my last bit about praying ceaselessly. If you want to receive an answer, you have to be ready for it.

Otherwise, the answer will hit you, bounce off, and you'll be left just being sore.

Prayer can be done at all times during the day. You can do it in school, at church, on a bus, doing laundry, studying for a test, and even taking a shower. There is really nothing magical about kneeling -- it just helps you focus properly during deep prayer. Prayer is thinking about the Bible, thanking God for things in your life, admitting your shortcomings,  and many other things. As long as your are trying to converse with God, it's prayer. When you live your life always trying to connect to God like this, it is like being ready to receive a pass in soccer, so you will be much more capable of receiving the answer.

I will be the first to admit that none of these are easy to do. But, if you really want to connect with God, it will be well worth the effort. If it's too much, then try starting somewhere small. If half an hour is too much prayer, then start with 10 minutes. If that's too long, then just pray one minute and just keep doing it every day. God will help you along as much as you want to be helped, so do it with thanksgiving and hope :). As for the next blog about prayer, I will be talking about times to pray. Hope to hear from you then!